


It Wasn't Your Fault

by lodgeladyv



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: F/M, Sana's POV, kinda sensual, married!yousana, yousef washes sana's hair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-02
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2019-01-08 05:51:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12248265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lodgeladyv/pseuds/lodgeladyv





	It Wasn't Your Fault

She feels disoriented. Her hands were inside of him. She felt the excessive blood. The nurse kept saying something but she could barely hear. The sound of the machines is overwhelming. Loud. He was dead. Sana had read about this. She had aced several classes about dealing with this stuff. But now when it was actually happening, she could barely move. She removes her surgical mask. Behind her, the nurses begin cleaning off the body.

“You did the best you could,” she hears her attending say. “It was a miracle he lasted this long”.

Sana nods. She tries to strain a smile but fails halfway through. She feels numb. She quickly washes the blood off her hands. Sana wasn’t someone who was afraid of blood. Yet tonight it made her nauseous beyond belief.

 

“You finished quickly,” the elderly woman said as she saw Sana. She must’ve noticed her somber look because she quickly started shaking her head. “No!” she cried.

“I’m so sorry”. A younger woman, presumably her daughter, grabbed onto the old woman. Tears streaming down her face. Sana was able to regurgitate everything her textbook taught her. Comforting. But not too emotional. Professional and detail-oriented but not heartless.

“It was our anniversary!” the old woman finally said. This almost destroyed Sana. She walked away, her wedding band in her pocket feeling like a ton suddenly.

 

She sits in the dressing room for what feels like hours. Her phone rings in her locker. She lets it ring. It echoes in the room. It’s 1am. Yousef, she thinks. He must be wondering where she is. Why hasn’t she come home? The hours' pass. People walk in and out of the room. They whisper among themselves. Sana lost a patient. They don’t try talking to her. They know her. She doesn’t want to be interrupted. Finally, she hears footsteps. She looks up at her handsome husband. He’s wearing sweats and a T-shirt with a long coat and loafers. Like he just jumped out of bed. They drive home. He tries to hold her hand when the drive allows it.

 

He opens the door to their apartment. She walks in, immediately running to the bathroom to throw up. She’s on her knees when he sits down on the floor next to her. She looks at him. He removes two of the pins on her hijab, allowing it to fall to her shoulders. She’s wearing a small cap to hold her bun, which he removes. Her black hair falls down her shoulders. She gets up and washes her mouth. 

 

Her eyes find the mirror and she notices she still has a patch blood on her cheek. Yousef grabs her arms and ushers her down on a stool. He finds her makeup remover and pours the fluid on a cotton pad. His eyes narrow and a small wrinkle between his eyebrows as if he was concentrating intensely, slowly he brushes her face. The cotton pad dirties quickly and he continues picking more and more pieces until Sana’s face is completely naked. He removes her lipstick last. When he’s done, he looks a little proud of himself. Sana kisses the inside of his hand. He smiles. She leans forward to kiss him. She wants to feel something. Anything. He sidesteps the kiss. He forces her up. 

 

She sits down, bringing her knees to her stomach. Yousef sits at the edge of the tub. He seemingly doesn’t care that it was hitting him. He begins washing her hair. As soon as it hit her scalp, she felt her body at ease. The water soothed her. She closed her eyes as he continued to rinse her hair. The shampoo had a strawberry taste that almost made her mouth water. He messages her scalp as he tried to separate the shampoo into every part of her hair. He gets up as he rinses her hair. She leans back, so her head rests on the edge. Yousef stands up in front of her, admiring her. She was so beautiful, he thought. His hand traces the soapy water back and forth.

 

“Thank you,” she says, her voice croaks.

 

“What happened?” he finally asks.

 

“I killed someone”

“Sana”

“I did. He wouldn’t have died if it wasn’t for me”

“That’s not what the attending nurse said”

 

“It was their anniversary,” she said. “It was just a routine check-up. The husband had some pain. They came into the emergency room as a precaution”.

 

“It wasn’t your fault”

 

“My hands were inside him when his heart stopped. I felt him die”. She sobs.

 

Yousef instinctively got into the tub with her. He rests her head on his shoulder. His clothes were completely soaked. She could feel goosebumps through his skin. She felt her whole body shake. She couldn’t do it anymore. She didn’t know if the wet spot on his shirt was the water from jumping into the tub or her tears. She looks at him. His clothes soaked. His hair half-wet too. She caressed his cheek and motioned it closer to her. He smiles. Their lips meet. Her one hand moves around his waist, digging her nails into his skin, the other hand breezes through his hair. Their kiss is long. Deep. A warmth fills her body. He moans her name at one point, but he doesn’t break the kiss. They feel so perfect together.

 

“You are a good doctor,” he whispers to her.

 

“You’re a better husband”.


End file.
